Cassidy Hutchinson testified before the January 6 Committee about something she ‘didn’t see’

Greg Gutfeld says, the January 6 Committee created a ‘show trial’

So, back to the story of the steering wheel. Like all those other anti-Trump bombshells, it was a bombshell, just without the shell.

A star witness who no one had ever heard of testified at the Jan. 6 hearing yesterday on something she had not seen, making her testimony just as reliable as Liz Warren’s smoke signals. So what’s the main idea? After the rally on January 6, President Donald Trump was then taken back to the White House.

He screamed for the car to stop so he could chow down on a sick dog by the side of the road. Yes, it was a Pekinese, which he then consumed with his bare, bloody hands while soaking it in ketchup. Donald Jr. was laughing in the back seat. Yeah, well, she was told that anyway, according to Nbcnews.

Actually, she was told that Donald Trump declared himself the King of Siam, stripped down, and typed out all of Shakespeare’s plays at random on a Smith Corona word processor he borrowed from his close friend and mentor Adolf Hitler, who isn’t actually dead but still resides in a shampoo bottle in Mar-a-Lago pool houses. This all happened on the way to the rally. Yes, maybe that is a bit extreme.

Her claims, however, are much less credible. She alleges that she was informed that Trump tried to take the wheel away from a Secret Service agent. He lunged using the verb that was employed. Yes, I lunged while holding my daiquiri about eight inches out of reach, as advised by my personal trainer.

However, Trump reportedly climbed out of The Beast’s back window. Hillary Clinton with The Beast, the presidential limousine’s code name. Screaming, “Screw the guns, let Jesus take the wheel,” he shuffled across the roof before sliding down into the car and grabbing the wheel. Sounds authentic, right? It’s a good thing we have a Republican there to keep everything legal. I kid.

However, it’s strange how Liz Cheney has transformed into the angry ex-wife that Donald Trump was unaware he had. She has transformed into a screech owl with the phony calm of a Stepford wife. Do men not recall “The Stepford Wives”?

Nevertheless, the same people who spent four years telling you that Trump was so out of shape and that he had one foot in the grave and the other on a package of mayo now want you to think that he can slither around a moving vehicle like Jackie Chan. Even still, the rumor was consumed by the media.

CNN: The president is in real trouble, not least for assaulting his Secret Service agent.

MSNBC: This is where I confess that I cannot recall ever having heard another example of a president trying to physically hijack his own motorcade.

CNN: To grab the steering wheel. I mean, is a dangerous, dangerous act and then whatever to grab the Secret Service agent. I mean, this is beyond… That Trump was the wrong man for the job.

MSNBC: That’s going to stick for a lot of people. You know, the President of the United States, you know, attacking a Secret Service agent.

Attacking! The media hasn’t been this excited about an attack since you know who? Jussie, you’re back. Of course, like Smollett’s stinky tail, just wait it out the story comes apart as a cheese steak dropped in a hot tub. I told him it was a cheese steak.

EMILY COMPAGNO: Oh, my God. 

SOUTH DAKOTA GOV. KRISTI NOEM: Oh, gosh.

Sorry, Governor.

SOUTH DAKOTA GOV. KRISTI NOEM: Yeah.

First off, our very own David Spunt, which is the past tense of spat, confirms that, in the background, both of the men involved in this anecdote dispute the lunge. But it’s not just us; NBC’s Peter Alexander also reports that a source close to the Secret Service says, “Both Bobby Engel, the lead agent, and the driver, are prepared to testify under oath that neither man was assaulted and that Mr. Trump never lung The Secret Service would fight “any allegation of an assault” or “Trump reaching for the… wheel,” sources tell ABC’s, John Santucci. He also didn’t develop eight-foot rubber arms overnight as he did in The Fantastic Four.

The official who claimed that an agent gave Hutchinson this account did, indeed, deny it, CNN admits. Even CNN, yes. In other words, if CNN goes away, the remaining 12 viewers go away with it. Although there is only one viewer, it uses the pronoun they.

More dispute arises over Hutchinson’s claims; perhaps it has to do with a note she claimed to have written but didn’t. We could go into it, but Paul Pelosi has a more interesting driving story. Everything is hidden by overdone theater, and not even good theater like you see on Broadway, but rather community theater, like a play in which your aunt Margaret, Margaret, plays the lead role. The hearing is therefore a joke.

It was a one-sided charade that called into question all of the facts. Because of this, nobody watches it unless the media forces it onto them. They thought that an intricately produced program developed by an ABC producer, with unexpected cameos from people you had never heard of, would wow you. As a remake of “The Love Boat,” it was a flop. They are beyond hope, not even Charo’s testimony. I’m old.

How much of this guy do you really need to see, to be honest? He’s a useful idiot, I suppose, a glutton for odd new esteem from his transient liberal friends, if I were to be cynical. He always seems to be on the verge of tears. What does Kinzinger actually mean in German? Karen?

He ought to keep his face when he gets a job driving Liz Cheney to MSNBC, you know. I know, poor Liz. a stalker with a deadly attraction level who simply cannot get enough of President Trump. I should simply hide the bunny, Donald. These references are so out of date. Mm. But the important thing is that I understand them.

The committee truly believed this to be a foregone conclusion. a show trial filled with evidence. Who would made me think of the game we used to play as kids when you sat in a circle and whispered something to the person next to you until it had gone all the way around the circle, by which time it had become totally different from what you had said at the start. Spin the Bottle, I believe it was called.

But hearsay is exactly that, and I’m not even claiming it’s untrue. Why even bother when the committee is obviously false? It’s the large red bow on the corrupt box that you received from the same morons who produced hoaxes for six years. It generated rumors and was saturated with highly produced propaganda. I continue to listen for a director to say, “Cut!”ld object? The press? Nope, they’re sucking it down like it’s water for AOC.

It made me think of the game we used to play as kids when you sat in a circle and whispered something to the person next to you until it had gone all the way around the circle, by which time it had become totally different from what you had said at the start. Spin the Bottle, I believe it was called.

But hearsay is exactly that, and I’m not even claiming it’s untrue. Why even bother when the committee is obviously false? It’s the large red bow on the corrupt box that you received from the same morons who produced hoaxes for six years. It generated rumors and was saturated with highly produced propaganda. I continue to listen for a director to say, “Cut! let’s do that again with a little more feeling Adam.”

Additionally, it’s intended to divert your attention from the real issues—crime, inflation, immigration, and all the other significant areas where this administration has failed us. However, we can see right through it like a condom wrapped over a flashlight. I have no idea how I know. But the truth is that we are aware of Trump’s fury.

He gave me a wedgie when I switched his Diet Coke for Pepsi, and I can still clearly recall it. Never in my life have I experienced such a high lift. I’m delighted. The truth is that they planned a show trial but neglected to invite the show. Their sincerity is currently being tested. I would advise locking them up.