Nick Cannon Reflects on Identity Struggles During Marriage to Mariah Carey

Nick Cannon opened up about his past struggles with masculinity and identity during his marriage to Mariah Carey in a candid discussion on the Ray Daniels Presents podcast. The Wild ‘n Out star, now 44, reflected on his existential crisis while being “her man,” admitting that the pressure and dynamics of the relationship affected his sense of self.

“I didn’t actually really care what the world thought because the perception, you know, that is what it is. People are going to love you one day, hate you the next day,” Cannon began, as he recalled his brief marriage to what he described as an “alpha” woman. Cannon married Carey in 2008, but he revealed that he eventually began questioning his own identity.

“I could care less about that… But going to myself with that pressure of, ‘Who am I?’” he shared. “I got married in my 20s, you know what I mean? To the biggest star in the world.” Cannon explained that while he was young and still finding himself, he sensed a decline in his sense of identity as their marriage progressed. The couple eventually divorced six years later.

“My trajectory was here,” he said, gesturing downward, “and then hers—she’s already in a different stratosphere.” Cannon admitted that maintaining his own identity outside of their relationship was a challenge, and he became “comfortable” with Carey taking the lead, especially on the professional front. “She’s got islands and I’m waking up at noon and people bringing me steaks on a platter,” he joked, hinting at the luxurious lifestyle he enjoyed during their marriage.

He confessed that these moments often led him to reflect on his role in the relationship. “I would lay up at night thinking, like, ‘Is this who I am? Am I Mariah’s man? Is that what my life is supposed to be?’” he recalled. “There’s nothing wrong with it,” he added but acknowledged the internal conflict he faced.

Cannon also discussed how he struggled with his masculinity and the “hierarchy” within their family after they welcomed their twins, Moroccan and Monroe, in April 2011. “I’m carrying a purse, the diaper bag and, you know, I’m standing on the corner like, ‘Wait.’ She’s rocking being the alpha,” he continued, agreeing when the podcast’s host noted, “She deserves it.” Cannon acknowledged, “I believe she needs a dude like that. I’m just not that dude.”

Following their split in 2014, Cannon has gone on to welcome eight more children with various partners, while Carey has pursued several long-term relationships. Despite moving on, Cannon has previously expressed lingering feelings for Carey. In an interview with E! News this August, he mentioned that he still feels they “belong together” and would “absolutely” get back together with her, saying, “It would be stupid if [he] didn’t.”

However, he also admitted, “She doesn’t want me,” acknowledging the reality of their current situation. Just a few weeks later, he clarified to People, “She’s moved on from my crazy antics,” signaling that while he may still hold feelings for his ex-wife, their paths have diverged significantly since their divorce.